This post was first published here.
Overrating penetrative sex (coitus/intercourse) contributes to a culture that invalidates all kinds of extremely pleasurable and perfectly normal ways of having sex.
1/ There are many studies that show that most people with vaginas do not reach orgasm with penetrative sex alone.
2/ Considering ways other than peno-vaginal penetration as "not sex" or "not so pleasurable" is cis-heteropatriarchal bullshit. it deprives many of us from seeking and obtaining pleasure in many different ways.
3/ Penetration-oriented or phallocentric ideas of sex are either one sided or completely exclude people who don't want to or cannot have sex that way.
4/ Penetrative sex can feel amazing for some (often though not always in combination with other things) just like any other kind of sex can also feel equally or even more amazing. not everyone is the same!
5/ The patriarchal obsession with intercourse stems from the rubbish idea that the sole purpose of sex is procreation and pleasure doesn't count.
6/ The days of "the clitoris cover up" are over. for the last 20 years at least, thanks to research, we know well that the clitoris is designed only for pleasure.
You may have heard the song by Lil' Kim where she asks, "I don't want dick tonight, eat my pussy right". That's a perfectly legitimate demand!